11 little dating deal breakers
Posted March 22
There are dozens of articles about the huge warning sings you should avoid in any relationship— hefty topics like abuse and infidelity. But what about the tiny little deal breakers? Over time, itty bitty tendencies become old, die-hard habits. When you’re really thinking about spending the rest of your life with one person, these seemingly small 11 quirks become deal breakers:
He seems to say all the right things when mutual friends ask him how he feels about you — little things like “she’s wonderful,” “I love her,” “she makes me laugh,” and that’s great… unless he stops there.
In an in-depth conversation about how he feels about you, he should discuss the details. A generic answer means he’s generically in love — you want a man who’s specifically infatuated with the details of your relationship.
You’re the hard worker
A relationship is easy breezy if one person is doing all the work. If you are putting in all the effort, you won’t really know how he feels about you. Even early on in your love story, there should be give and take.
He believes in tough luck
This isn’t all bad, but isn’t a good sign when a “well, just get over it” answer is what you get when ill, disappointed or upset about something. Your marriage will be a lonely one if you marry someone who believes you should get over it on your own.
Early on, it may seem cute how he gets so upset when his team loses the big game. But what’s to say these temper tantrums don’t spill into other categories? No marriage is perfect, feelings will get hurt and mistakes will be made — you don’t want a mister who reacts to bad news like he reacts to his favorite player getting a foul.
He doesn’t call you first
When he’s got big news, you do hear about — but only after his friends and family do. Especially if things are getting serious, you should be the one he wants to call first and share his promotion with. Over time, this habit will fester into a lack of trust and communication.
It’s not a huge deal now if he can’t commit to picking you up from the airport, but you shouldn’t have to call your sister to come pick you up instead when you’re married. Marriage is never easy, but it will feel a lot easier if you know you can count on your spouse being there for you.
You’re swooning over his incredible work ethic and his rigid (and ambitious) life plan. But if your mister can’t be flexible, that spells trouble. Life never goes as planned, meaning you need a partner who can adapt to surprises and support you along the way.
He fights dirty
This sounds like a big red flag (and it is) but it can also be a teeny warning sign that’s hard to miss when it comes to the little fights you have. If he’s willing to do anything to make sure he’s the winner of a silly game, know you may be marrying someone who’s ruthlessly competitive, stubborn and willing to win no matter the stakes.
How he spends his time
You both spend lots of time with one another when you are together, but what is he up to when you aren’t around? If hours of video games would bother you as his wife, get things sorted out before you say “I do”.
He’s on a different paragraph
You’ve heard the saying “We’re on the same page” — when it comes to marriage that phrase needs a little more refinement. You guys should be on the same paragraph. You two obviously have your own personalities and opinions, but just know there are little things you can and can’t live with.
Is he a great guy?
This is tricky — because you could be dating someone wonderful… but is he wonderful for you specifically? You could have a perfectly happy life with this man, but there could be someone out there who would do more to enrich your life together. Sometimes knowing that he’s great, just “not your kind of great” is the deal breaker your relationship needs before you tie the knot.
Emily is a graduate of Brigham Young University and is a staunch believer in pie as breakfast food. Read more about her travels and tastings at ercummings.blogspot.com.