10 ways to actually get a second date
Posted April 10
You’ve been on a lot of first dates, but for some reason are unable to make it to the second date. Getting to the second date often feels totally impossible. After the first date you’re left wondering what you could have said but didn’t or what you did say but shouldn’t have. You're constantly replaying scenes from the date over and over and over again in your head.
What’s even worse is when the first date actually went really well! You two hit it off and you both had a great time but for some reason, the second date just doesn’t happen.
If you really want to go on a second date, here's what to do when you first go out:
1. Talk to each other before the first date
Messaging him absolutely everything about yourself before you even go out means you're left with nothing to talk about on the first date...but do start talking to each other before you go out. Talking a little bit means you have a good foundation for conversation on the first date — this is especially important if it's a blind date.
2. Keep the first date simple and cheap
Don’t break the bank on the first date. Keep thing simple. The first date is all about getting to know one another, not about how much money someone can spend. By keeping it simple, the likelihood of being more flamboyant in a future second date will go up.
3. Don’t word vomit
Awkward silences happen. They are the absolute worst on first dates, but don’t spill all of your life’s secrets to someone you barely know just to fill the silence. Keep conversations casual, talking about things you both have in common, but be sure to leave a few things unanswered. If he already knows too much about you on the first date, it’s unlikely you’ll get a second.
4. Don’t come on too strong
If you come on too strong, it’s easy to make the other person nervous. On the first date, don’t talk about how many kids you want to have. You don’t need to know if this is the guy you’re supposed to marry on the first date. First dates are all about having fun and getting to know each other. Let more and more dates help you figure out if he's Mr. Right.
5. Eat dinner on the first date
According to a recent study, if you eat dinner (or meet for drinks) on the first date, it’s more likely to lead to a second date. There’s a reason why so many first dates are casual and center around food and dinnertime. When our bellies are full and we sit face to face, you’re that much more likely to want to go out with them a second time.
6. Maybe rethink kissing on the first date
If first dates are all about getting to know each other, perhaps saving the kiss for later will improve your chances of actually getting a second date. If you put too much of yourself out there on the first date, how much of a need is there really for a second?
7. Don’t be rude
Manners and first impressions matter. If you don’t act like a lady or a gentleman on the first date, you’ll lose points. Be on your best behavior for the first date and you’ll be that much more likely to go out for a second time.
8. Plan the second date during the first date
Don’t be afraid to mention going out again on the first date. If you’re really interested, bring it up. Start making plans for when you can see each other again. If you’ve got plans in place by the end of the first date, then you’re practically guaranteed to go on a second.
9. Send a text after the date
If you're interested in your date, don’t play hard to get. Be upfront and send a text soon after the date about how much fun you had and that you’d like to see him again. You put yourself out there, but it is a kind gesture that more often than not leads to a second date.
10. Honestly, just be yourself
No matter what, just be yourself. Sure, you want things to go well so you can go out for a second time, but don’t let that stop you from being who you truly are. If your date doesn't like you for who you are, they aren’t worth your time.
You may not always get a second date, but loving yourself for who you are means someone will come along to take you on a first and second date, and many more after that. That person is well worth waiting for.