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10 things you're unintentionally doing that seriously wound your husband

Posted June 3

Marriage is a constant learning process. From buying your first home to sending your baby off to college, you’ll go through some incredible experiences with your spouse that will bring you two closer than you ever could have thought possible.

While marriage is an amazing journey, your spouse is going to do things you don’t love. Any marriage is going to have problems at some point, but there are certain things you should never do, even when your relationship isn’t at its finest. The sad part is, we catch ourselves doing some of these things almost daily.

Keep in mind that these points go both ways. Husbands, you should never do these things to your wife, either.

Here's a list of 10 things you should definitely stop doing to your husband (or wife):

1. Giving the silent treatment

Women can be the best at giving the silent treatment. If your husband makes you mad, you’ll just simply stop talking to him until he apologizes. It’s kind of ridiculous if you think about it. He probably doesn’t even know what you're mad about; and the key to fixing problems is communication. It’s so hard, but so important, to swallow your pride and talk it out.

2. Dropping subtle hints, then getting mad when he doesn’t catch on

When you say something like, “Wow, it’s a lovely day today,” he doesn’t understand that you actually mean, “It’s so nice, let’s go on a romantic walk in the park and have a picnic.”

Tell your husband what you want without dropping hints or making him guess. Straightforward communication is the best type of communication. You’ll both be much happier for it!

3. Husband bashing

We love our husbands. We wouldn’t have married them if we didn’t. So why do we think it’s OK to bad-mouth them to our friends or the internet? If it were the other way around, we wouldn't be very happy about it.

4. Criticizing everything

Hopefully your husband works hard to provide for your family or contributes to your effort in providing. He’s doing the best he can, and when you criticize every little thing, it makes him feel worthless and unappreciated. If he does something wrong it’s OK to correct him (lovingly), but give him compliments and praise as well. Help him feel like he’s valuable to you.

5. Expecting too much

It’s totally healthy and normal to have high expectations for your husband. In fact, you should have high expectations. However, he’s not perfect. He’s doing his best, and he feels guilty when he doesn’t meet every one of your demands. Give him words of encouragement and acceptance so he can feel like you truly appreciate his efforts. After all, he’s just trying to make you happy.

6. Blaming all of your problems on him

Admitting you’re wrong is never fun. It’s hard to take responsibility, and sometimes it’s easier to put the blame on someone else. But try hard not to. You and your husband should both take responsibility for your actions, apologize when necessary, and work on growing together to solve problems that arise.

7. Never saying “thank you”

“Thank you” goes a long way in a marriage. Acknowledging the small things he does every day to make your life a little easier will make him feel loved and appreciated.

8. Not putting him first

Sometimes life gets crazy and you're both running everywhere in different directions. Kids, family, careers and hobbies can get in the way of your time with each other, and have an impact on your relationship. While it’s great to be invested in these things, make sure you’re nourishing your relationship with your spouse above anything else.

9. Nagging him

I totally understand how frustrating it is when you ask your husband to do something and he forgets or doesn’t do it. However, nagging him isn’t going to help the situation. Gently remind him of one thing at a time, and make sure he knows you’re grateful for his help.

10. Controlling him

Your husband needs you to be his wife, not his mom. Make sure you’re giving him the freedom to keep his hobbies and friends while still being his first priority.

This list isn’t to make you feel guilty about things you’re doing wrong; it's simply a reminder of little steps on the path to having the best relationship possible.

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