10 things you didn't realize about love until after marriage
Posted December 19, 2016
We all want to find true love. We form an idea of it in our heads when we are young and then we spend way too much looking for that ideal love. Some of us find it and get married and realize pretty quickly that our idea of love has been wrong all along, while others of us continue to search for it. Before marriage, we all think we know what true love is, but here are some things that are impossible to know until after you’ve tied the knot.
1. Love needs to be stubborn
Love is not always easy, so the key to real love is being too stubborn to let it ever go away. If you do not stubbornly insist on loving your spouse, then it is easy for that love to slip away. Love must be stubborn to survive.
2. Love is not always telling the truth
We think the person who loves us most would never lie to us, but the truth is sometimes you lie because you love someone. Love is eating the dinner your spouse cooks even when you don’t want to and telling them they look nice even if they have seen better days. Love is honest, but sometimes it’s not.
3. Love is compromise
In the beginning, love can conquer all the annoying habits, but in the end love is simply picking which habits annoy you most and letting all the other ones stay.
4. Love is sacrifice
It is easy to be selfish, but it is hard to be selfless; love requires the latter.
5. Love is not conditional
It is too easy to say, “I love when you do this” or “I love him most days, but…” Love is not conditional. If you love him when he makes you feel special, then you have to love him when he makes a mistake; even if you don’t love the mistake. If you love him some days, then make yourself love him every day.
6. Love is giving the benefit of the doubt
True love is assuming the best in the partner you have chosen. If there are two reasons why he could have done something, then always give him the benefit of the more noble excuse because that’s probably what he meant.
7. Love is not always blissful
Young love is blissful, but true love deepened by years of marriage has seen hardship and heartache and it is stronger because of it. True love is joyful, but it is also enduring everything that comes your way, together.
8. Romance does not equal love
This is an easy mistake to make before marriage. Being romanced is delightful and we often confuse it for love, but love is more than just romance.
9. Love is comfortable
Excitement is often confused for love and while love can still be exciting after marriage, it is more the joy that comes from being completely comfortable with the person sleeping next to you.
10. Love is hard
Most of us have heard this statement before marriage and most of us believe it before marriage, but you can’t truly know it until you are in it. Love and marriage were never meant to be easy, but the struggle is definitely worth it.
You aren't supposed to know everything about love going into marriage, so don't worry if you don't. Figuring these things out is one of the joys of jumping in with two feet pointed toward the future. So, jump, point, fall, endure and above all else love.
Kelsey is a student at Brigham Young University studying to broaden her horizons through the written word. She loves the outdoors, family, car washes and punny witticisms.