10 reasons not to mourn the end of the honeymoon phase

Posted April 4
Updated April 7

The honeymoon phase.

The stage at the beginning of most relationships when a couple is all googly-eyed and the two people believe each other could never do wrong.

This phase can last up to 15 years for some people; while for other couples, it may only be 3 months.

Some may tell you that you want this stage to last for as long as possible and it’s the best time in a couple’s relationship, but this idea is false.

Sometimes the end of the honeymoon phase can signal in the best and longest-lasting phase of your relationship: acceptance and real life love.

Here are 10 reasons to not mourn the end of the honeymoon phase and to appreciate and enjoy being 100 percent real with the person you love.

1. Makeup is a treat, not a necessity

In the beginning of your relationship, you felt the need to be dolled-up every time you were in front of your man so he would know how beautiful and attractive you are.

Now, he knows how beautiful and attractive you are with or without makeup, so when you have a day when you don’t leave the house because you're binge-watching your favorite show together, you know its okay to go bare-face. And you are both cool with that.

2. You’re more honest

When you were dating, you were willing to be more adventurous with the foods you ate, the places you went and the activities you did.

Now that you are more settled down and know each other a lot better, you are more willing to speak up when you don’t want to eat a certain food or go to a certain place.

Not that you aren’t willing to be adventurous every once in a while, but you are both comfortable enough to say no and not feel bad about it.

3. You can’t avoid each other after a fight

I am sure that fighting wasn’t even really a thing in the initial honeymoon phase of your relationship and that you agreed with everything and anything the other person said (or just bit your tongue when you did disagree).

Now, you know fights are a real thing and not a bad thing and that usually after a fight, or even during one, you can’t just go somewhere to avoid your spouse: you are usually still around him.

This means you learn to either sort it out or put it aside for when you will have more time and privacy to talk about it.

4. Everything isn’t hunky-dory all the time

One of the best things about the end of the honeymoon period is the realization that everything isn’t great all the time in your relationship and that’s perfectly okay.

I'm not saying that you and your spouse are always on the verge of divorce or anything like that, but you have your good days and your bad days just like everybody else.

The best realization that comes with this acceptance is that, even though there are some tough times, the good times make everything totally worth it.

5. You become an open book to each other

Hopefully this has been the case all along, but most people find that once the honeymoon phase is over, they are more honest and open with their spouse, and it’s really great.

You know what he is feeling 99.9 percent of the time, and you are not afraid to share 100 percent of your life with him.

You realize how incredible it is to have someone to be so open and honest with, and the openness brings you closer than ever.

6. You don’t worry about the small stuff

Had a little fight last night? Getting annoyed with his college stories? Frustrated he didn’t make the bed?

These types of things may come up over and over again, but in the end you only have momentary feelings of annoyance, frustration and irritation followed by thoughts of, “Eh, its fine.”

You don’t worry every petty thing means the end because you know your love runs so deep it can even survive much bigger and scarier issues.

7. You are both okay with going to bed at 10 p.m. on a Friday night

Back in your single days or even in the beginning of your relationship, Friday nights usually meant going out with friends and having fun until early in the a.m.

Now, both of you have jobs and responsibilities that wear you out to the point where you are completely fine with staying in, watching a movie and going to bed early on the weekends.

8. Bodily functions happen

Because you are now with him all the time, you realize he is not immune to all the bodily functions that come with everyday life. And you're totally okay with that.

In fact, you can now be completely open about these bodily functions and even laugh pretty hard when they happen. You can also dish out nicknames like Tooty Pants and Mr. Farts-a-lot.

9. You and the in-laws are totally close

You used to think when it came to being around his parents or your parents you both had to be on your best behavior and be the most perfect daughter- or son-in-law.

Now, you know this isn’t necessary and you are completely yourself in front of them and they still love you.

10. Your love is 100 percent the real deal

The best part of the end of the honeymoon phase? Knowing your love is 100 percent the real deal, one that will last through the ages.

You love each other despite your faults; in fact, you realize those are the things you may love the most about each other.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism. Tamsyn has written and edited for Scroll, BYU-Idaho's newspaper.


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