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10 habits you don't realize will ruin your marriage

Posted October 27

Destroy those habits that have settled and seek to rekindle that flame that used to burn. (Deseret Photo)

Sometimes it feels like we are losing that spark. It feels like emptiness is in the place where your heart used to feel full and happy. It's normal for people to gradually change after marriage, but sometimes those changes hurt your relationship instead of helping it grow.

Overtime, things get too comfortable. And while there is nothing wrong with getting comfortable with your better half, there are certain habits that can develop. These habits slowly eliminate the love in your relationship. Here are 10 common habits you need to avoid.

1. Seeking to improve

You love your partner and you chose them for a reason. Constantly seeking to change them may seem harmless but is the last thing that you want to do if you want your marriage to last. While encouraging your spouse to improve and be better is helpful, focusing on changing who they are is not.

2. Focusing on faults

Stop listing everything you don’t like in your spouse. Welcome to marriage. You're living with your love, which gives you the special opportunity to see all sides of a person. Making a list of things you don't like only fans the flames of disaster. Instead of focusing on faults, make a list of all the things you love in your partner. Don't get in the habit of seeing the faults and problems in life.

3. Avoiding contention

This may sound surprising but fighting can be healthy for your marriage. It helps develop a way to communicate, solve problems and express your opinions. As long as you and your partner are being respectful and calm, that is. But avoiding contention only lets emotions bottle up. You end up harboring resentment towards your spouse instead of confronting the issue. Break this habit for a happy marriage.

4. Not forgiving

This is one of the most important habits to break. I know it can be hard to forgive but if you don’t, your relationship will be damaged. Forgive your partner and don't hold a grudge. Breaking this habit shows your spouse that you put your relationship above the mistakes.

5. Being dramatic

Stop with the nagging and complaining. It’s something that will not affect your relationship instantly but over time, this habit eats away at the love you have with your partner. Rather than being dramatic, offer solutions to rekindle your love.

6. Jealousy

This will drive anyone mad. Loyalty and trust is what marriage is based around. If you don't trust your spouse, fix this problem! Focus on the confidence you have in your relationship and trust one another to dissolve any doubts you may have created.

7. Half-listening

All people really want in this life is a chance to be heard. It is crucial you understand that your marriage is a place of sanctuary. Your spouse should be able to talk to you. You should be able to convey all your thoughts and emotions without criticism. However, if you have the habit of half-listening, this aspect of your marriage is missing. Be there for your partner by giving them your full attention.

8. Comparing your relationship

You're not a celebrity couple. You will create your own words and actions of affection over time. Just because another couple has matching shirts does not mean that you need to go out and buy some yourself. Be content with your relationship and stop comparing it to what you see on social media.

9. Giving the silent treatment

What does this resolve? Nothing! If you have this habit, break it. The silent treatment is hurtful, useless, childish and only harms your relationship.

10. Being too serious

Don’t take everything so seriously. Show your partner that you can laugh something off...better yet, show them that you can laugh at yourself! Nothing is more enjoyable than looking into your partner's eyes and truly laughing. Plus, it's a good way to break tension during an argument.

Destroy these nasty habits and seek to improve your relationship. Getting rid of these tendencies will help you and your spouse love each other even more than you have in the past.

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